


Together

by kaeorin



Series: Loki's Lullabies [34]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Anxiety, Comfort, Couch Cuddles, F/M, Fluff, Good Loki (Marvel), Lullabies, Nervousness, Pregnancy, Touching, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-04-29
Packaged: 2021-03-01 20:12:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23902888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaeorin/pseuds/kaeorin
Summary: You have something important to tell Loki, but you’re not sure how he’s going to react. (Pregnant reader; give this a miss if that throws you out of a fic or triggers you.)
Relationships: Loki (Marvel)/Reader
Series: Loki's Lullabies [34]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1678240
Comments: 12
Kudos: 299





	Together

You kept it to yourself for a couple of weeks. 

It wasn’t a conscious decision so much as...you weren’t entirely sure who to tell. Natasha and Wanda were the people you were probably closest with, but you sure as hell weren’t going to rub this in Nat’s face. And with Wanda...it just never felt quite right. You got the feeling that she’d be excited, that she’d immediately want to drag you out shopping for all the various things and accessories that this kind of situation required, but you weren’t ready for that. And forget telling any of the men in the Tower. Clint wouldn’t want to hear about it. Tony wouldn’t be able to hear you over the music in his lab. Steve and Bucky both felt a little too awkward for something like this, and you weren’t all that close with them anyway. Thor was almost a solid candidate, but he was so enthusiastic. Telling him was one step away from just straight-up telling Loki yourself, and you weren’t sure if you were ready for that yet.

You were late. Your period was. So you’d taken a pregnancy test, and then you’d taken another one, and then you’d asked Bruce to help you run a blood test just to make extra sure. Every single test said the same thing.

You were pregnant.

Things were fine with Loki. They were great. Being with him made you feel like a character in a fairy tale, or in some big sweeping love story, except there was less drama and uncertainty. When he looked at you, there was a softness in his eyes, an openness that wasn’t there when he looked at anyone else. He shared things with you that you had never expected from him, and he did it in such a way that it felt like he didn’t even have to think about it. You were stupid in love with him, absolutely over the moon, and if he was willing to do This with you, you were all-in.

But that felt like a pretty big If. You had no idea how he felt about children. It had never occurred to you to try to test the waters, to come right out and ask him, and now you felt terrified of asking because what if he didn’t like them? What if he saw right through your questions and closed himself off from you then and there? You had always been a big supporter of the pro-choice movement, but now that it was you, you weren’t so sure of yourself. What if he didn’t want it? What if you were faced with the choice between this child and your lover? What would you choose? The question echoed in your mind and kept you awake at night even when Loki pulled your body against his and snored softly beside you.

Bruce wanted you to tell him. He never put you on the spot, bless him, but if he was in the room with the two of you, he’d shoot you pointed Looks and raise his eyebrows at you, like _What are you waiting for?_ You didn’t really have an answer for that. In the back of your mind, you were terrified that this would change everything. Loki was only just starting to be comfortable here. What if he didn’t want children, but your status as a member of the team made him feel pressured to lie? 

But you couldn’t put it off forever. Pregnancy only lasted so long, right, and if you somehow decided not to keep it, that limited your time frame even further. How long did it take before pregnancy started to show? How long would Loki—would the team—think that maybe you were just gaining weight? One night, when you actually managed to fall asleep, you dreamed about running away and doing all this on your own. That was the turning point. That was ridiculous. You couldn’t keep living in fear like this. You had to face the facts and find out the truth and then deal with whatever happened after that.

So one night, you found Loki in the sitting room, reading. He did that a lot. You leaned quietly against the doorway and watched him for a while. His face was beautiful. It was otherworldly. When you smoothed your thumbs along his cheekbones before you kissed him, it always made him close his eyes and sigh with pleasure. You loved caressing his forehead and kissing his temple and brushing his hair out of his face so you could drink in the sight of him. Your stomach clenched, and you pressed your hand against it just in case. What happened next could ruin all of this. What if he didn’t let you touch him anymore? Or, worse: what if he didn’t want you to touch him after he found out, but he felt like he had to let you? He turned the page and looked up at you with a lovely, lazy smile stealing across his face. You dropped your hand to your side.

“I was just thinking about you,” he said, lifting his arm to indicate the space beside him. “Won’t you join me?”

Everything in your mind wanted you to flee, but you pushed the thought away and curled up beside him. If this ruined everything, then maybe everything wasn’t supposed to last forever. The thought hurt a bit. As soon as you were comfortable, you felt him press his lips to your temple, and you let your eyes slip closed at the feeling. “I love you,” you said, your voice barely louder than a whisper. He hummed his agreement against your skin. Ordinarily, you lived for moments like these, moments when your body was pressed against yours and you felt like you could be so vulnerable. 

“What is it?” He moved his mouth away from you, but rested his forehead against your temple as though he couldn’t bear to be apart from you. You touched each other a lot. Sometimes it felt like you couldn’t get through dinner without your hand on his thigh. “Something is bothering you, I can tell.”

You shrugged and tried to swallow, but your throat was dry. “I don’t know,” you lied. That was always a dangerous choice with Loki, but you couldn’t help it. “Um. I’ve been wondering. How do you feel about kids? I mean, do you like them? Are they...okay?”

If he was put off by your awkward attempt at conversation, he didn’t show it. You did feel him laugh once, his breath sharp against your skin. “They’re fine,” he said after a while. “Obviously some are better than others, but they’re not horrendously offensive to me. Why?” 

It wasn’t the best possible response, but it also wasn’t the worst. Unfortunately, that meant it also continued to leave you floundering. You were no closer to being able to predict what his reaction would be. You clenched your hands into fists a few times, mostly just to try to get rid of some of the nervous energy that had you wanting to run. “I don’t know,” you said again. You didn’t know anything. You drew in a deep breath and tried to sound nonchalant. “Have you thought about...you know...having one of your own?”

He laughed again, but this time it had an edge of self-deprecation to it. You hated when he sounded like that. “I don’t know that I would curse anyone with my child, love. I don’t know the first thing about being a father. Not a good one, anyway. At best, I know some of what _not_ to do.” He closed his book and set it on the arm of the couch, and then you felt him look at you. You couldn’t meet his gaze. “Why? Are you...thinking about it?” His voice gave no clues about what he might think about something like that. You swallowed hard.

“I don’t know,” you said for the third time. This time, it was more clearly a lie. Yes, you’d been thinking about it. You’d been thinking about it since you got all those test results. You just didn’t know how you felt about it. And you didn’t know if you could do it on your own.

His fingers were gentle when he caressed your cheek, but firm when he pressed them beneath your chin to make you look up at him. The question was clear in his face. _Oh, congratulations,_ you thought to yourself. _It’s not like I’m great at hiding_ _anything_ _from you._ When you didn’t answer him, he licked his lips and spoke: “What _do_ you know, dear heart?”

That was your opening, wasn’t it? You would have liked to look away, but he wouldn’t let you. Instead, you closed your eyes for a moment and steeled yourself for his reaction. “I know that I’m pregnant.” You wanted to stumble through some endless list of assurances, promises that he didn’t have to want it, that he wouldn’t have to do anything if he didn’t want to. Maybe even promises that you didn’t have to keep it. But your mouth stopped moving. Almost unwillingly, you opened your eyes. 

His face was unreadable. It filled you with a cold dread. In all the media you’d ever consumed about something like this, the men were always elated or horrified. They whooped and spun their ladies around in the air, or else they raged and demanded that she get rid of it. But his face was only...tight and frozen. “And...how do you feel about that?”

A fourth ‘I don’t know’ sprang to your lips, but it would have been a lie. “Scared,” you whispered. “Excited. I want it, Loki. I want to keep it.” You wanted to pull away from him, but you weren’t strong enough to give up the comfort of his arms. 

“You want to keep it. _My_ child.” His voice was low, but still you couldn’t tell how he felt. 

You sat up a little straighter. “You don’t have to. Want it. If you...don’t, I think I can do it myself. You don’t have to worry. I’ll understand. It’s okay.” Most of the things you’d heard about Odin, they weren’t good. It almost went without saying that Loki had a broken relationship with his father; it would be silly to expect that he would embrace this wholeheartedly.

“You’re carrying my child.” You couldn’t blame him for all this. It was a lot to take in. You’d had more time to adjust to the notion, and you were only just starting to decide how you felt. You tried to move away from him so he could have some space to think, and he dropped his hand away from your chin. But he didn’t let you pull away. Instead, he put both of his hands on your shoulders and pushed you gently—but firmly—down so you were half-lying on the couch, and then he stretched out on top of you. His face was still frozen, but...he was still touching you at least. He cupped your face in his palms and you saw the beginnings of a smile twitch the corners of his lips. “You’ll have a child with me?”

“I _love_ you, Loki.” Didn’t that explain it all? You weren’t so sure how you felt about children in general, but already you could feel your heart swelling with love for this one. A piece of Loki was growing inside of you. A piece of both of you. A brand-new person who wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for the love you shared with this beautiful, beautiful man. “Is this okay?”

He nodded slowly. He wasn’t quite smiling yet, but you could see something like wonder creeping into his eyes. There was still so much uncertainty here, but you could feel some of the tension leaving your body. At the very least, he wasn’t downright opposed to this. He drew one hand down along your body, touching you as gently as always, and then curled his fingers around your hip to draw you even closer to him. “Are _you_ okay? Do you feel well? Are you sick? Frightened?”

How did he always know? “I’m fine. A little scared, because I’ve never done this before, but I know that I want to.” You bit back your assurance that you could do it on your own if he didn’t want to—the way he was looking at you, so awestruck and excited, was making you reasonably certain that he _did_ want to. 

He opened his mouth, closed it like he was trying to figure out what to say. You, just a small human, had rendered him speechless. In another situation, you might have laughed. But then he blinked and pressed forward to devour you in a kiss. He knew what he wanted, and he wasn’t afraid to take it from you, but he wasn’t demanding. When his tongue slipped inside your mouth, you met him with your own, drawing a low growl from him. He kissed you like it was a language you could speak, some way he could tell you what he was feeling without using words. Maybe it was. You did the same, and wrapped your arms around his neck to hold him closer. When you had to break the kiss to breathe, he merely lowered his mouth to your skin, scattering soft nips and kisses up your jawline, behind your ear, across your forehead.

“Will you do this with me, then?” His body made it more or less clear what he wanted, but you had to be sure. You had to hear the words from him so there was no room for your anxious brain to wiggle in.

“My queen. I will not leave your side, now or ever. From now until the end of time, you have only to breathe the whispered hint of a request in my direction, and I will go to the ends of every realm for you.” He slipped a hand between you and under your shirt, to rest it against your belly. Something very similar to a giggle bubbled up through his chest. It made you feel warm. “And for _our child_.”

And then his mouth was on yours again, sweet and hungry and seeking. When he moved his hand from your stomach, it was only to pull you closer again. If it weren’t for the solid, grounding weight of his body above yours, you thought you might have floated into the sky from sheer relief. You could do this. And Loki would do it too.

You would do this together.


End file.
